The subject of marriage and how to maintain one has been on my mind for several weeks now, ever since my husband and I learned of the impending divorce of a couple who have been married just a few years less than we have been. One evening as my husband and I discussed the destruction wrought on this couple and their household he wondered aloud what could keep anyone from such an end. After all, we would never have thought that this particular couple would fail. We also thought we would not fail. Were we doing something different? Were we better? More dedicated to our family? We could think we were and have our answer, but were we really?
As it happened, I had already begun to think about the answer to this question, as I lay awake at night contemplating what could have gone so wrong in our friends’ marriage. The answer I found and the answer I shared with my husband was the word of God:
Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.
Psalm 127:1 (NKJV)
Satan is a powerful actor on this world. He hates that which brings God joy and loves that which God abhors. You and your spouse cannot maintain your marriage alone. You cannot build a sustaining relationship; God must build it for you. You cannot guard against all the temptations of the flesh be they greed or selfishness or other base desires; God must be your guardian. You must not succumb to arrogance, believing that failure strikes others but not you. Nor may you become complacent assuming that things will remain unchanged.
Proverbs 28:26 tells us that “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered.” We are constantly subject to conflicting emotions and desires; our flesh is too weak to withstand the onslaught. We feel neglected, bored, convinced that we are supposed to be somewhere else doing something else. These are the deceits of Satan. We cannot trust in our own feelings, but must trust in God. We must be ever vigilant against those false feelings that would tear us away from the loving and fulfilling relationship that God wants us to have in the marriage He has built for us. Remember to keep God in the circle of your marriage and trust in His desire to give you the very best.
